in it.

so, i’m sitting on the edge of the bath tub, balancing leif on his tummy on my lap.  he has poo smeared down the back of his leg, a fun find at diaper time.  which is normally no biggie, child #4 you’ll remember, except that this poo necessitated a bath, & in this bath tub was a pair of another kiddo’s pants in need of laundering, along with the puke bucket which had seen recent activity. i considered the kitchen sink (sorry if i just lost half of you), but i hadn’t done the dishes from lunch.
yep, sterile as a hospital here.

so while i was balancing sweet, patient leif, i was going to need to clean out the bath tub.  & being the stubborn woman that i am, i sure as sugar wasn’t going to put leif down & do it like a sane person.  heck, no.  we’d do this circus-style.

as i’m trying to unscrew the cover of the hand soap i’ve got on the tub ledge, balancing leif now with my elbows?  forearms?  andy walks by.  i begin to consider my sanity.  i’m not sure at what point he started chuckling, if he did indeed wait until he walked by again & saw me standing in the now-clean tub, my jeans pulled up to my knees, behind leif to keep him from toppling over, or if he just got right to it there, as i s.o.s.’ed for help with the bottle cap.  holy grief.

i caught a glimpse of my self, then.  pure ridiculousness.  really, jill?  try to space out the crazy a little bit & save some for the rest of us.
& this crazy happens EVERY DAY.  not the poo part, or the collection of nastiness that was my bath tub, but something absurd & humbling.  this morning it was a kiddo drinking water & then burping, accidentally spewing the entire contents of his stomach onto my bedroom floor.  yep, that just happened.  i’ve been awake a whole 6 seconds.

if there is anything these children are teaching me, it’s stay loose & lighten up.

see how the one in the middle isn’t holding still, which makes his arm look disembodied & creepy?  that motion is kieran.  if you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know.

[*also:  please admire my husband’s fine carpentry/remodelling work.  this room used to be white white white.  top to bottom.  horrible, stained, gross white carpet, too.  now it’s a lovely shade of coffee with extra cream (my favorite color) with trendy white trim & IKEA wood flooring.  wood flooring, how i love thee.]

so yes, i’m in for it.  in every sense of the word.  four children.  three of them boys.  a baby, soon mobile [oy, legos.].  i’m in for it all:  all the crazy, all the mess, all the can’t-keep-up, all the laughter & learning & humbling & love You can send my way.  keep me loose;  keep me lightened up.

i’m all in.

2 thoughts on “in it.

  1. Loved the great mental images, Jill. Well, you always were very athletic, and it looks like it came in handy. I watch Heather handling her three, and YOU have four. I couldn’t possibly have had four. Not possible and yet! Hang in there, Jill.

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