the kids are asleep in the camper & i’ve got 7 minutes to process. i ought to be sleeping because i’m not 17 anymore & haven’t yet perfected the afternoon nap. however.
so, you know my hang-up about minimalism, & how i’d never actually call myself one, but that i’m romanced by the idea, the lifestyle. with every tupperware popscicle set i give away, every unused pair of clogs that meets the goodwill box, every trinkety junk thing my kids bring home & promptly trade out for something cooler, my head clears just a little bit more.
i didn’t know this, but i can think more clearly with less stuff. it’s like all the extra courderoys & flip flops were taking up literal room in my head & clogging the whole place up. no one teaches you this in school.
with a cleared head, i’m surprised at how much emotional baggage i’m processing these days. i realize that’s an incredibly loaded statement, but i’m carrying around the average amount of luggage, just like you. but i’m finding my way through it more steadily these days.
do you know what’s on the other side, through the forest & into the clearing? peace. calmness. a sense of rightness with the world. which makes me think of this, something Jesus said: come to me all you who are weary & heavy laden & I will give you rest. My yoke is easy & My burden is light. which begs the question now drumming around:
me: easy? really? because i ain’t living easy. this is not easy. it’s GOOD, but it’s not easy.
to which the still small Voice answers: really? whose fault is that? (only i imagine Jesus a tad less sarcastic.) you’re bringing it on yourself.
me: oh. i didn’t know.
Jesus: & that part about feeling guilty in downtime, about actually enjoying yourself? yep, you can just go ahead & iron both of those out. you need both, & I’m handing them out, if you’ll just sit down. (again, probably Jesus is nicer than this. apparently He needs to be a little direct with me on this, or so my translation interprets.)
so, there it is. the scraps inside my head. i’ll keep clearing off the countertops because it clears my head at the same time. i’ll keep peddling through what bubbles to the top of the psychological heap, because it keeps my heart steady. & i’ll keep staying up just a tad too late to process here, because i think you get it, too.