seeing sunshine

“on some days Joy is generously strewn along your life-path, glistening in the sunlight.  on days like that, being content is as simple as breathing the next breath or taking the next step.  other days are overcast and gloomy;  you feel the strain of the journey, which seems endless.  dull gray rocks greet your gaze and cause your feet to ache.  yet Joy is still attainable.  search for it as for hidden treasure.”
–sarah young, “jesus calling”

i see dull gray rocks today, but i want to see sunshine.  it’s here;  i know it is.  i just need to dig down deep enough into the dirt of my life & search it out.

here goes, searching:

  • little toddler shoes everywhere, & the way toddler-boy walks around with one shoe in his hand.
  • fresh snuggles from my kids, all piled around me & clamoring for laptime first thing in the morning.
  • pandora.
  • farm eggs on hot cast iron for breakfast.
  • popcorn for dinner.
  • my new red can opener.
  • little girl in pigtails.
  • pvc pipe as guns, because i have boys.
  • hearing one of the kids say to another, “no weapons at the table” in a serious voice.
  • pushing tulip bulbs down, deep into the earth, just before the snow & frost came.

once i got started on this list, this mindset, the day bloomed in front of me.  the kicker is it was there all the time.  i just wasn’t seeing it, not even looking.

so tomorrow when i get up & the kids are bickering & the dishes pile high & the fatigue wears thin,  i’m vowing to look for the sunshine.  to slow myself, to recast my vision, to look deep into the dirt of my life for the Joy.  because it’s down there, if i just scrabble around a bit.

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