8, then.

she turns eight today.
the sweet little one in the middle of all these boys.

the one who holds her own in wrestling matches,
who is the princess amadala to their luke & han
& the pretty mirkwood elf for their lord of the rings.

the kind girl who teaches kieran his letters
& awards him with stickers when he does well,
who already has flawless cursive she taught herself.
the girl who makes things pretty just by touching them.
you, sweet thalia, are the creative girl
who sees art on the road, in a cloud, in a paint splotch,
the girl who isn’t afraid of the art inside her.

you are the girl, sweet one, who teaches us about passion,
about doing what you love,
about loving life in all its glorious colors & shapes.

she is eight today, my little girl who isn’t.
it hit me last night when she & her brothers
had all crawled into my bed last night for prayer
while i nursed leify.

“this is your last night being 7, thalia!”  i said.

then i nearly cried.

i love raising kids more than anything andy & i have ever done, more than anything i’d done before.  having kids has changed me, grown me up in a way only tiny, dependent people  in your stead can.

but this, THIS.  this letting them grow up.  it’s a little bit much for me.

SO.  on this day, this lovely, rich day to celebrate my only girl, as the tears threathen my eyes, my i have the grace to let her grow, to change & catapult into the wondeful woman she’s becoming, into the artsy, thoughtful, sensitive woman God has made her to be.

help me grow up, too.

& sweet thalia, with you here, darling,
our world is richer, deeper,
more pink,
& tons more beautiful.

with you here, our world is perfect.

happy birthday, Sweet T.

we love you.
XO.

6 thoughts on “8, then.

  1. Thanks for so perfectly putting to words the things that we as parents feel so fleetingly that we aren’t even sure that we feel them.

    Thank You!

  2. I can so remember these same joyful-painful thoughts. I remember thinking that I couldn’t even bear to think about the day that they would leave home, and I wouldn’t always be there to make sure they were safe and well. Now that mine are grown and we have made that transition to adult relationships with each other I still cherish the memories of the growing years. The next stage of seeing your precious grandchildren growing up brings it all back with less pain and more joy! It just keeps getting better!

    1. oh, thanks for this, dina! it gives me a lot of hope. sometimes i get caught thinking i need to milk the now for all it’s worth, cuz what’s a’comin’ isn’t going to be as good. how wrong is that?? takes a determined mind change to right my path. . . .

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