i may as well load up all the mommy emotion in a big heap & deal with it in one fell swoop.
kieran is 5 today.
which makes two kids turning a new year in 8 days’ time.
every year, all of march is birthday madness.
which means i can’t see straight
for all the mommy pondering going on
i need a nap.
& a kleenex.
(have i mentioned we do this again in july? javin & leif were born within two weeks of each other. well, two weeks & nine years. oy vey.)
last night at bedtime (why is it always bedtime?), i was singing
with leif snuggled on my chest
& kieran tucked in beside me, arm slung across my neck.
after hugs & kisses & extra snuggles
on this last night of kieran-as-4,
i thought i felt him fall off to sleep.
i felt the tears at the back of my eyes.
there’s something this year about the kids’ last night
being the age they are,
weighty with significance.
it feels a little bit silly,
but it’s killing me.
i asked you, little kieran,
if you were asleep yet, like i thought.
“nope!” you answered me,
perplexed that i would think that of you.
& i felt a tangible relief
that i could have a few more moments with you
as my sweet 4-year-old boy.
i snuggled you a little harder.
today, kieran, our third kiddo, you turn a bright & shiny five years old.actually, everything about kieran is bright & shiny.
unending smiles. dimples.
bright eyes & a huge heart.
a silly sense of humor.
the best giggle.
& games. does my boy ever love a good game.
every morning, after the sleep is rubbed out of his eyes, he begins.
he truly loves all life has to offer.
activity, adventure, food.
from the time he was a baby, he fussed to have on his plate exactly what everyone else had.
first food? broccoli.
because at 8 months he saw
that good was happening
& he wanted in.
he’s a beacon to all of us, this little-one-so-big in his (now) five-year-old skin.
and no one in our family is as bold as he is:
the first to ride his bike.
the first the first to get stitches.
the first to break a bone.
the first to tangle with a raspberry bush at the end of the sledding hill.
all because he’s so fully engaged in life & so exuberant about it at the same time.
[& a little bit crazy.]
& the imagination!
four is a holy ground for imagination & creativity.
always making something out of a stick & a rubberband.
always engaging one of his siblings for a romp.
always eager to help stir a cake or crack an egg.
happy birthday, big guy.
we love you to the moon & back.
five is gonna rock.