so, i’m sitting on the edge of the bath tub, balancing leif on his tummy on my lap. he has poo smeared down the back of his leg, a fun find at diaper time. which is normally no biggie, child #4 you’ll remember, except that this poo necessitated a bath, & in this bath tub was a pair of another kiddo’s pants in need of laundering, along with the puke bucket which had seen recent activity. i considered the kitchen sink (sorry if i just lost half of you), but i hadn’t done the dishes from lunch.
yep, sterile as a hospital here.
so while i was balancing sweet, patient leif, i was going to need to clean out the bath tub. & being the stubborn woman that i am, i sure as sugar wasn’t going to put leif down & do it like a sane person. heck, no. we’d do this circus-style.
as i’m trying to unscrew the cover of the hand soap i’ve got on the tub ledge, balancing leif now with my elbows? forearms? andy walks by. i begin to consider my sanity. i’m not sure at what point he started chuckling, if he did indeed wait until he walked by again & saw me standing in the now-clean tub, my jeans pulled up to my knees, behind leif to keep him from toppling over, or if he just got right to it there, as i s.o.s.’ed for help with the bottle cap. holy grief.
i caught a glimpse of my self, then. pure ridiculousness. really, jill? try to space out the crazy a little bit & save some for the rest of us.
& this crazy happens EVERY DAY. not the poo part, or the collection of nastiness that was my bath tub, but something absurd & humbling. this morning it was a kiddo drinking water & then burping, accidentally spewing the entire contents of his stomach onto my bedroom floor. yep, that just happened. i’ve been awake a whole 6 seconds.
if there is anything these children are teaching me, it’s stay loose & lighten up.
[*also: please admire my husband’s fine carpentry/remodelling work. this room used to be white white white. top to bottom. horrible, stained, gross white carpet, too. now it’s a lovely shade of coffee with extra cream (my favorite color) with trendy white trim & IKEA wood flooring. wood flooring, how i love thee.]
so yes, i’m in for it. in every sense of the word. four children. three of them boys. a baby, soon mobile [oy, legos.]. i’m in for it all: all the crazy, all the mess, all the can’t-keep-up, all the laughter & learning & humbling & love You can send my way. keep me loose; keep me lightened up.
i’m all in.